MacMonster

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Offline (the 12/08/2014 at 5:37am)

MacMonster

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1671
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MacMonster's page activity

Visits<b>epic174</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:36am<b>IamBatman323</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 8:30pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Yooper_Girl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 8:16pm<b>threer</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 7:00pm<b>DarthMorlock</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 10:13pm<b>RockNRollAndrew</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 5:00pm<b>scissors17</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 11:05pm<b>dorkelena</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:58pm<b>tiernang</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 7:59pm<b>hotPinklipstick</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 3:21pm<b>KK3137</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:19pm<b>zChanic</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:40pm<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 1:21pm<b>adkim78</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 12:11pm<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:59am<b>linuxguy192</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:08am<b>tilted_sunlight</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 11:53am

MacMonster's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MacMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

by w0rstdayever / 11/27/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML

by anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 6:40pm / Intimacy

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

by beaten / 09/13/2009 at 2:17am / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

by awkwardbf / 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

by EyesOffMe / 09/07/2009 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day of school as a freshman. I soon became lost and decided to ask a senior for directions to my class. They smiled at me and said "It's on the third floor to the right." After ten minutes of walking up and down stairs and hallways, I discovered there is no third floor. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

by anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

by Ugh / 02/16/2009 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

by Champs / 01/25/2009 at 12:52pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

by Noname / 01/24/2009 at 10:24am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

by Noname / 01/24/2009 at 10:24am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous