Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MR_GUERR0

Search for a member

MR_GUERR0

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4571
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MR_GUERR0 : I'm awesome and you are not just deal with it. Jk. I play competitive paintball and I like video games and football. Message me if you want :)

MR_GUERR0's page activity

Visits<b>Terzy</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 11:32pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 4:34am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 11:05am

MR_GUERR0's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MR_GUERR0's badges

MR_GUERR0's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (3188)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (90253)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41546) - you deserved it (5133)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41650) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37281) - you deserved it (8572)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38820) - you deserved it (6294)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43657) - you deserved it (2820)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41743) - you deserved it (18492)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (13968)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59656) - you deserved it (6636)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42593) - you deserved it (2399)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64802) - you deserved it (3888)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: