1..2..3..4..Marine Corps....i am a Marine and i work at a gas chamber; i am also a HAZ MAT Technician...fun stuff!
I did 1 year of college (prior to enlistment) and kinda miss the routine.
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2610) - you totally deserved it (14731)
On 11/18/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by ggbhghggg - United States (Missouri)
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6819) - you totally deserved it (12818)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - misc - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20224) - you totally deserved it (1003)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16957) - you totally deserved it (6306)
On 11/17/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by fmfl (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at work, I screamed, used one of my employees as a human shield, dove for cover, and cried. Why? A bat flew into my store. Bats scare me shitless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11314) - you totally deserved it (5099)
On 11/17/2009 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13990) - you totally deserved it (2575)
On 11/17/2009 at 3:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4601) - you totally deserved it (12242)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:00pm - health - by proteinboy (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15555) - you totally deserved it (1340)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16546) - you totally deserved it (2718)
On 11/12/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by NotEnoughCleaner (woman) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16221) - you totally deserved it (1184)
On 11/08/2009 at 11:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16699) - you totally deserved it (2658)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5550) - you totally deserved it (16119)
On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13490) - you totally deserved it (3873)
On 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I dropped my 400 dollar cell phone on the floor by mistake and it shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you totally deserved it (9835)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you totally deserved it (4104)
On 11/04/2009 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
