About MLuckyCapoeirist : If you like capoeira, or animes talk to me :)
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WANTED : Sirin "900,000$". Nickname : "The Ripper"
WANTED : DocBastard "600,000$". Nickname "The Surgeon"
WANTED : RedPillSucks "375,000$" Nickname : "The Politician"
WANTED : FYLDeep "175,000$" Nickname "The Joker"
WANTED : Perdix "350,000$" Nickname "The Crazy One"
WANTED : Cinn "200,000$" Nickname "The Iron Maiden"
WANTED : Doortje "300,000$" Nickname "The Ripper's Lieutenant"
WANTED : every1luvsboners "200,000$" Nickname "The Destroyer"
WANTED : I_iz_B_a_troll "110,000$" Nickname "Future Dramacrat"
WANTED : KingDingALing "275,000$" Nickname "The owner"
WANTED : KaySL "500,000$" Nickname "RUN AWAY!"
Top 3 Criminals -
Sirin
DocBastard
KaySL
Perfectionist
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Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (2025)
On 05/12/2012 at 4:48pm - animals - by aliqi (man) - United States
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (2663)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (4264)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14332) - you deserved it (1794)
On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18789) - you deserved it (2618)
On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (1755)
On 04/16/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by penny-dropping - United States
Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26230) - you deserved it (5053)
On 04/14/2012 at 7:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (11572)
On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)
Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21549) - you deserved it (6904)
On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom
Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26901) - you deserved it (5082)
On 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I go to a small private Christian college, the academic dean came up to me and asked me to put some old records on CD, since I have a record player that can do that. I had to listen to eight records of old students from the 1970's singing bible thumper Christian hippie music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (7170)
On 02/18/2011 at 10:25am - misc - by Shodan2112 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom told me that she was selling my favorite thing in the world, my trombone. The only thing that I'm good at is the trombone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (3800)
On 02/18/2011 at 9:47am - misc - by ihavenothing - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31210) - you deserved it (2970)
On 02/18/2011 at 8:06am - work - by sickly -
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33457) - you deserved it (3381)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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