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About MKA_TB : "But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted."
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24582) - you deserved it (1872)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by virginmary (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (7031)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by ? - United States
Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15394) - you deserved it (7554)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found out that I had my first born child. It's a boy. I found out on facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37007) - you deserved it (10220)
On 09/19/2009 at 4:47am - misc - by josh (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33208) - you deserved it (2834)
On 09/19/2009 at 2:18am - love - by singlesailor (man) - United States (California)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57267) - you deserved it (3060)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32744) - you deserved it (2664)
On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16931) - you deserved it (58222)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50987) - you deserved it (2466)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8487) - you deserved it (53558)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48808) - you deserved it (2963)
On 07/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by Sally (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48334) - you deserved it (2357)
On 07/15/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by hockey9797 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was ringing a lady up at the register. I noticed her son was doing the peepee dance, so I rushed the payment process up and handed her the receipt. The little boy says "Mommy" and the mom looks down, then back up at me saying, "Your problem now" and walks out. The boy peed on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (1416)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:35am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
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