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Lythiaren's favorite FMLs
by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
by longday / 07/25/2010 at 2:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
by wishihadpockets / 01/28/2010 at 5:24am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation
by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML
by baldygirl / 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Sam / 11/01/2009 at 6:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Joe / 11/01/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by stick / 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later… Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed… Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl…