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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Lythiaren

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Lythiaren
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6053
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Lythiaren's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (2396)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (30938) - you deserved it (19959) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (8800)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

#12097441 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (13973) - you deserved it (4445)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:13am - work - by longday (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (5424) - you deserved it (25096)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (13149)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57260) - you deserved it (8509)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (46751) - you deserved it (2376)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML

#6303119 (519)

I agree, your life sucks (10950) - you deserved it (28596)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML

#6120189 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (37309) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by baldygirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML

#6106000 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (6413) - you deserved it (37459)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (8678) - you deserved it (32403)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML

#6092612 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (1107)

On 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

#5912025 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (3459) - you deserved it (92541)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML

#5775880 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (35015) - you deserved it (2256)

On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)