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LyricalChaos

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LyricalChaos

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  • Number of visits : 3379
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LyricalChaos's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 6:39am

LyricalChaos's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LyricalChaos's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

#6998610
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12219) - you deserved it (25203)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

#6968124
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38643) - you deserved it (4119)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26512) - you deserved it (7793)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6318) - you deserved it (70805)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

#6841457
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23302) - you deserved it (3163)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18307) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

#6826579
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8424) - you deserved it (37296)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

#6826046
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (3315)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

#6825049
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (6252)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34694) - you deserved it (3571)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

#6811262
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (3139)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31554) - you deserved it (22744)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

#6774546
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9789) - you deserved it (23174)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by babyfatt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

#6774079
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55868) - you deserved it (2365)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by barri (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)



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