LyricalChaos

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LyricalChaos

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4654
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LyricalChaos's page activity

Visits<b>AbagaelMurray</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:03am<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 6:39am

LyricalChaos's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LyricalChaos's favorite FMLs

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 11:47am / Netherlands / Kids

Today, my girlfriend dumped me via text message. The sad thing is that I left my fiancée of 5 years to be with a girl I worked with at Walmart. My ex-fiancée is now a doctor. I still work at Walmart. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 7:45pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 2:11am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the fuck up, princess." FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to hide behind the ice machine at work and jump out randomly and scare people. This resulted in my first victim whacking me in the head with a skateboard. FML

by me / 12/16/2010 at 10:29am / Work

Today, I went to pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got there, I ran to give her a hug. She screamed and ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2010 at 9:35am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Kids

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2010 at 12:31am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML

by nolife / 11/05/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Animals

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 9:42am / Reserved / Work

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

by Abused / 10/13/2010 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy