LyricalChaos

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LyricalChaos

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4790
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LyricalChaos's page activity

Visits<b>AbagaelMurray</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:03am<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 6:39am

LyricalChaos's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LyricalChaos's favorite FMLs

Today, the midwest blizzard hit my town, burying the roads in snow. All the local stores are closed. I'm not only currently on my period, but I'm out of pads and toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2011 at 3:59pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

by Summer_Jane / 02/03/2011 at 5:40am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML

by peachmelba / 02/01/2011 at 3:26pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV in my living room while my wife was cooking. I began to smell the aroma of her potato soup, which made me hungry. Suddenly, I realized that the smell wasn't my wife's cooking but was in fact my body odor. FML

by jroberts / 01/25/2011 at 10:25am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

by calidumbass / 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm / United States / Money

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:25am / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, I got to listen to my younger brother have sex with a girl while I sat in my room playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night. FML

by Username / 01/08/2011 at 2:01am / United States / Geek

Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML

by sadlife / 01/05/2011 at 10:35pm / Love

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

by yingyang2 / 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm / United States / Kids

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

by Username / 01/03/2011 at 6:40am / Intimacy

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 2:03am / United States / Transportation

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Kids