Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Luxord33

Search for a member

Luxord33
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 170
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Luxord33 : Love FML

Luxord33's last visitors

PsychoticAsylumThriceWrittenActionFearocnewton84littlekellileeSweetSwedeRememberedeuphoriagorillaz

Luxord33's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Luxord33's badges

Luxord33's favorite FMLs

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9996) - you deserved it (34991)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML

#20427233
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (6044)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:03am - kids - by UngratefulBrat - United States (New York)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24700) - you deserved it (11921)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML

#20183027
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19889) - you deserved it (1337)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9172) - you deserved it (29171)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14253) - you deserved it (55655)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

#19460207
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6670) - you deserved it (16984)

On 04/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

#19460120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22290) - you deserved it (3553)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (4696)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8386) - you deserved it (24708)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML

#17442115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30681) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by brittgreen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (10492)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

#14743872
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10371) - you deserved it (36512)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML

#14195303
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11769) - you deserved it (44165)

On 12/13/2010 at 9:01pm - love - by blahblah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: