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Lucysky

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Lucysky

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 575
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Lucysky's favorite FMLs

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (16364)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (5723)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#19996782
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (31348)

On 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56368) - you deserved it (10333)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (1944)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

#19995117
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (1646)

On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

#19991299
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29444) - you deserved it (1461)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

#19988981
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (5205)

On 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37705) - you deserved it (8100)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

#19979806
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32091) - you deserved it (4761)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34355) - you deserved it (2998)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

#19960444
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6015) - you deserved it (35767)

On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (2946)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML

#19959059
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23995) - you deserved it (2919)

On 07/19/2012 at 1:36pm - love - by Mitch (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

#19956706
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (3270)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)



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