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Today, my daughter learned how to write her name correctly for the first time. Only thing is, she decided to practise writing it all over my body with a sharpie while I was sleeping. Works starts in 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (3151)
On 10/02/2009 at 9:39am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41213) - you deserved it (2794)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my sisters and I were throwing my mom a birthday party. Since I'm not good at baking, I ordered her a really nice and expensive cake. As my daughter and I were headed out the door, she told me she had added some sprinkles to make it pretty. It was the silica beads from a package. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26453) - you deserved it (2992)
On 09/24/2009 at 7:25am - misc - by rubber_duckie177 (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (3571)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (61035)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33000) - you deserved it (10892)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States
Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5797) - you deserved it (25257)
On 08/23/2009 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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