Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lozinger

Search for a member

Lozinger

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 571
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lozinger : I have a great sense of humour, making people laugh is the best part of life.
I love the beach and going to clubs. I'm a self professed computer nerd. Nintendo 64 FTW : )
Completed High School, and beginning a double bachelors degree in Forensic Science and Criminology.

Lozinger's page activity

Visits<b>Oihana</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:29pm<b>cfende02</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:19am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 12:47pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 1:51am<b>mongoose80</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 10:49pm<b>beavertree</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 12:06am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:16pm<b>Michaelkg</b> - the 02/04/2011 at 9:02pm<b>missile</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 11:13pm<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 01/15/2011 at 8:51pm<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 12/09/2010 at 12:49pm<b>CoachLlama</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 4:17pm<b>masterbaker11</b> - the 11/11/2010 at 11:55pm<b>gavin13</b> - the 11/09/2010 at 9:49pm<b>DonULFonso</b> - the 11/05/2010 at 7:24am<b>drummaster92</b> - the 11/04/2010 at 11:54pm<b>TheIndieStar</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 4:11am<b>hk</b> - the 10/07/2010 at 5:39am

Lozinger's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Lozinger's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56023) - you deserved it (12084)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

#13204000
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

#12930514
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32565) - you deserved it (15220)

On 09/06/2010 at 6:45am - misc - by Myself - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38106) - you deserved it (7641)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26068) - you deserved it (17406)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (49115)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30607) - you deserved it (4360)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10316) - you deserved it (47926)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
875 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58701) - you deserved it (624955)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655051) - you deserved it (440549)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16502) - you deserved it (63075)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1151382) - you deserved it (115629)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: