Lozinger

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Lozinger

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 743
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lozinger : I have a great sense of humour, making people laugh is the best part of life.
I love the beach and going to clubs. I'm a self professed computer nerd. Nintendo 64 FTW : )
Completed High School, and beginning a double bachelors degree in Forensic Science and Criminology.

Lozinger's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 5:33pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:29pm<b>cfende02</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:19am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 12:47pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 1:51am<b>mongoose80</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 10:49pm<b>beavertree</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 12:06am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:16pm<b>Michaelkg</b> - the 02/04/2011 at 9:02pm<b>missile</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 11:13pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:06am<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 12/09/2010 at 12:49pm<b>CoachLlama</b> - the 11/13/2010 at 4:17pm<b>masterbaker11</b> - the 11/11/2010 at 11:55pm<b>gavin13</b> - the 11/09/2010 at 9:49pm<b>DonULFonso</b> - the 11/05/2010 at 7:24am<b>drummaster92</b> - the 11/04/2010 at 11:54pm<b>TheIndieStar</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 4:11am

Lozinger's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Lozinger's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 12:59am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

by Myself / 09/06/2010 at 6:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

by maebyf / 08/31/2010 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

by yellowjacket_34 / 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:46am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love