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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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LovelyCutiePie

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LovelyCutiePie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 April 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4126
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LovelyCutiePie : Crazy, adventerous, outdoorsy, and girly with hidden hint of rocker punk. I writes stories and music in my spare time and love to sing.

LovelyCutiePie's last visitors

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LovelyCutiePie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LovelyCutiePie's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (17240) - you deserved it (5390)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML

#4159325 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (4697)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by VelocityMary (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (30374) - you deserved it (2673)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (2711)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

#3932476 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (51317) - you deserved it (2648)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

#3827229 (386)

I agree, your life sucks (45201) - you deserved it (6575)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

#3799026 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (3476)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

#3782569 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (4719)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

#3777907 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (6032) - you deserved it (37202)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:17pm - work - by Alex - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (51283) - you deserved it (9559)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my belly button pierced. The guy put a small dot with a sharpie right above the center of my belly button so he knew exactly where to pierce. I also have a small freckle noticeably to the left of center of my belly button. Guess which one he pierced through. FML

#2399867 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (37248) - you deserved it (4289)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (49948) - you deserved it (17805)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (62923) - you deserved it (7529)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

#1485215 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (81561) - you deserved it (11211)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (303071) - you deserved it (14529)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)