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Lotex

Offline (the 05/22/2014 at 2:55am) | Search for a member

Lotex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 January 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 741
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Lotex's page activity

Visits<b>durisnonfrangor</b> - the 01/07/2012 at 8:09pm

Lotex's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Lotex's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (417649) - you deserved it (59573)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176279) - you deserved it (45565)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35459) - you deserved it (92729)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (686796) - you deserved it (55370)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90677) - you deserved it (27026)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97275) - you deserved it (30150)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171545) - you deserved it (30233)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239960) - you deserved it (31636)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99559) - you deserved it (45298)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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