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Lotex

Offline (the 11/18/2014 at 8:44pm) | Search for a member

Lotex

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 January 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 925
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Lotex's page activity

Visits<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:07pm<b>shankypotato</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:05pm<b>Beansforbill</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:40pm<b>durisnonfrangor</b> - the 01/07/2012 at 8:09pm

Lotex's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lotex's badges

Lotex's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (12210)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (7650)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38651) - you deserved it (3977)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42946) - you deserved it (6444)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10620) - you deserved it (47955)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42299) - you deserved it (11953)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

#5839452
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (4543)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:07am - love - by Achoo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64507) - you deserved it (4719)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59238) - you deserved it (15272)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63061) - you deserved it (16014)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113238) - you deserved it (8505)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35030) - you deserved it (78806)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17837) - you deserved it (76052)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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