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Happy Ending
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Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15608) - you deserved it (1051)
On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33463) - you deserved it (1934)
On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (2284)
On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34986) - you deserved it (8903)
On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (3857)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25167) - you deserved it (2483)
On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34927) - you deserved it (7940)
On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83268) - you deserved it (3856)
On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9268) - you deserved it (64118)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31918) - you deserved it (3207)
On 12/05/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (4383)
On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47488) - you deserved it (6507)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44512) - you deserved it (8402)
On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49235) - you deserved it (9963)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37733) - you deserved it (3649)
On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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