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LordoftheOcelots

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LordoftheOcelots
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 April 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 91
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LordoftheOcelots : I like to draw and I like ocelots and unicorns.
I'm bisexual, I'm only social on the Internet. I like to read the misfortune of others and pray it doesn't happen to me. I like Anime and webcomics. I love Homestuck and Hetalia. I play on Steam, gamer tag Bird Dog, picture Equius.


Narcissistic part:
I'm sexy
I'm awesome

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LordoftheOcelots's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14061) - you deserved it (20669)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

#20631829
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (6164)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54533) - you deserved it (9165)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
168 comments

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

#20428520
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21923) - you deserved it (2325)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30990) - you deserved it (3151)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20392) - you deserved it (3601)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14735) - you deserved it (5462)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (1706)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15889) - you deserved it (1688)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (7530)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (3801)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I had sex with a juggalo. FML

#16534562
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12010) - you deserved it (40722)

On 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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