Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lord_of_0

Search for a member

Lord_of_0

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 November 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2265
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Lord_of_0 : Hi. I'm a cat.

Lord_of_0's page activity

Visits<b>Amelia_Jones237</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:46pm<b>stevenmx86</b> - the 01/20/2011 at 12:19am<b>talun</b> - the 12/23/2010 at 11:22pm<b>who_cares10</b> - the 10/16/2010 at 11:29pm

Lord_of_0's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Lord_of_0's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32591) - you deserved it (7333)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174235) - you deserved it (17976)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

#4806587
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11870) - you deserved it (35809)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML

#4645462
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53677) - you deserved it (4835)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97432) - you deserved it (4788)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75206) - you deserved it (6517)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17275) - you deserved it (74829)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FML

#4076767
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37644) - you deserved it (23586)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:49am - love - by not-that-fat (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34887) - you deserved it (90549)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

#3776929
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51778) - you deserved it (4829)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my daughter was telling everyone at her elementry school about my gay partner. Yes, I have a gay partner. He is my work partner and he happens to be gay. FML

#3663410
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52509) - you deserved it (4499)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by charma (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

#3468815
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56266) - you deserved it (2872)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by noyodel (woman) - Italy

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147046) - you deserved it (9256)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44162) - you deserved it (15314)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: