About Lord_of_0 : Hi. I'm a cat.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26888) - you deserved it (3067)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, my car crashed, the only refuge was at a nearby house, of which the inhabitant of the house was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (3397)
On 11/23/2009 at 11:40am - love - by worsethanzombies (man) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15538) - you deserved it (3248)
On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States
Today, I had a surprise birthday party thrown in my honor. All of my friends and family had been invited, and all of the details were perfect. Who threw the party for me? My ex-girlfriend who I dumped last week for "not being thoughtful enough." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4691) - you deserved it (36085)
On 11/16/2009 at 9:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26590) - you deserved it (4303)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend of seven years dumped me because he said my cheeks getting way too fat for his taste and he didn't want to be with a chipmunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (5428)
On 10/29/2009 at 1:20am - love - by chipmunk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25255) - you deserved it (2528)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:52am - love - by dudezilla (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6483) - you deserved it (89651)
On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10820) - you deserved it (23011)
On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at my table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress and the pink pumps he was wearing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (4678)
On 10/03/2009 at 6:49pm - love - by badatgenders (woman) - Norway (Nord-Trondelag)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42947) - you deserved it (3605)
On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (2439)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41080) - you deserved it (7880)
On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29098) - you deserved it (8343)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:24am - love - by WOWreally (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at a bus stop my friend told me that he loved me. I, reacting on impulse, told him how long I've wanted to hear him say that, and kissed him. Then I realised the look on his face. Turns out he'd said 'I need new shoes' not 'I love you.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (17878) - you deserved it (33683)
On 09/23/2009 at 10:10am - love - by Lifes_overated (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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