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About Lord_of_0 : Hi. I'm a cat.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25225) - you deserved it (2842)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:32am - animals - by blehhx - United States
Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (3163)
On 04/08/2011 at 3:18pm - kids - by heathersmorin - United States (New York)
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (4544)
On 04/05/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Bailey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (11969)
On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38368) - you deserved it (5679)
On 04/01/2011 at 11:55am - misc - by WTF? - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15410) - you deserved it (4344)
On 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Macedonia (Struga)
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (21796)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33970) - you deserved it (4265)
On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia
Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44026) - you deserved it (8300)
On 03/26/2011 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23818) - you deserved it (11563)
On 03/26/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32985) - you deserved it (2515)
On 03/05/2011 at 3:26pm - misc - by devinbyrne - United States (Texas)
Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8502) - you deserved it (29434)
On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7188) - you deserved it (43414)
On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (2204)
On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28361) - you deserved it (2334)
On 02/07/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by 5minsolder (woman) - United States
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