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LongLiveAsians's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 12:28am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
by caqi33 / 03/08/2011 at 1:23pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 3:13pm / United States / Work
by Poopie / 01/29/2011 at 1:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML
by biscuit / 01/07/2011 at 12:46am / United Kingdom / Health
by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
by betrayed / 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
- Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…