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LlamaFlavoured

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LlamaFlavoured

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 March 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1293
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LlamaFlavoured's favorite FMLs

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27874) - you deserved it (3350)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19649) - you deserved it (47025)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16491) - you deserved it (27865)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45029) - you deserved it (7977)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83334) - you deserved it (6244)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39185) - you deserved it (6369)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16561) - you deserved it (39049)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31302) - you deserved it (5298)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

#10717478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (7146)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8543) - you deserved it (31642)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34947) - you deserved it (10574)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

#6738638
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8364) - you deserved it (27664)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by StrawberryJuicey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

#6618449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23310) - you deserved it (8463)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by yoyo22 - United States

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

#5926949
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (4156)

On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am - misc - by TheSublime (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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