Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LlamaFlavoured

Offline (yesterday at 6:30pm) | Search for a member

LlamaFlavoured

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 March 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1058
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LlamaFlavoured's page activity

Visits<b>TacoTrop</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 5:35am<b>Ang19</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 8:40pm<b>fudgie03</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:35pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 3:38pm<b>smc3106</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 12:04pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 8:41am<b>redraven88</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 10:40am<b>Batman599</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 11:08am

LlamaFlavoured's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of LlamaFlavoured's badges

LlamaFlavoured's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40548) - you deserved it (5228)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42200) - you deserved it (8545)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

#17918241
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19878) - you deserved it (9988)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32827) - you deserved it (9219)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (4455)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

#17647973
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19583) - you deserved it (4601)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31408) - you deserved it (5443)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30437) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (3340)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (45900)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16428) - you deserved it (27799)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I updated my facebook status as "lost all contacts, need numbers". My mom commented saying "her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends". Her comment got 32 likes. FML

#16216405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44895) - you deserved it (7957)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Username -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80670) - you deserved it (6033)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you deserved it (6354)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: