Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LlamaFlavoured

Offline (yesterday at 9:03am) | Search for a member

LlamaFlavoured

37Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Kingsbridge, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 March 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1650
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LlamaFlavoured's page activity

Visits<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - yesterday at 3:05am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:11pm<b>sherbear78</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 4:14pm<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:56am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:11am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Foster678</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:56pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:02am<b>Leo619</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 12:37am<b>thenameisxander</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:35pm<b>itsbunsta</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:43am<b>Jones87</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:18am<b>bazzee</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:28pm<b>chandler88</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:19pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:26pm<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:13am<b>xKG33x</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:04pm<b>juice_33</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 9:48pm

Fucked!<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:03am<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:48am<b>tiwan</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:48am<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 1:41am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:55am<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Logicscmogic</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:17am<b>yocray</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:41am<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:13pm<b>jake_braves</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Nikhil_death</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 7:27pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:51pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:40pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:15pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:25pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:41pm<b>BL3SStheFALL3N</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:07pm

LlamaFlavoured's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of LlamaFlavoured's badges

LlamaFlavoured's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (6899)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (18749)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

#21337587
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37712) - you deserved it (4343)

On 01/15/2015 at 12:23pm - love - by Can I press charges? (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30835) - you deserved it (15390)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (11009)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39736) - you deserved it (4018)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (13099)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (45605)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML

#21165697
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (4500)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:15am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (15140)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54336) - you deserved it (18261)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40273) - you deserved it (3726)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34690) - you deserved it (6774)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: