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Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (3168)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (2574)
On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53042) - you deserved it (3339)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11746) - you deserved it (24398)
On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)
Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4762) - you deserved it (26814)
On 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Poole)
Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "FRIED" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17890) - you deserved it (1698)
On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21494) - you deserved it (2552)
On 10/27/2011 at 12:00am - misc - by apparentlyunsexy - United States (Texas)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33295) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35489) - you deserved it (7642)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15133) - you deserved it (7496)
On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27403) - you deserved it (8372)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (2760)
On 10/02/2011 at 1:15am - work - by katt_is_here (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27183) - you deserved it (3395)
On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15560) - you deserved it (4082)
On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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