Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LiznessMonster

Search for a member

LiznessMonster

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4728
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LiznessMonster : I don't have anything to go right here, but any questions I can answer!

LiznessMonster's page activity

Visits<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:17am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Botmun12</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 11:48pm<b>feven</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:30pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:33am<b>no_playa_hater</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:38am<b>Kasanovastar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:05pm<b>missalyssaxo</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:41pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:11am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:39pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:15am<b>miztigers53</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:51pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:11am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:24am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:33am<b>starlight300</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 9:10pm<b>DERPYDERP878</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:46pm

Liked!<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:17am

LiznessMonster's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of LiznessMonster's badges

LiznessMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, mah dog startad to hump mah lag. Ha always doas this an I haard that humping tha dog back assartad dominanca. Wall, I dacidad to, an I dry humpad him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you lika that!" And than mah mom walkad in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33689) - you deserved it (146293)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today , aftar spanding tha night hanging out with a baautiful girl wa start to walk back to mah placa . Halfway thara sha turns an says , ( I wish u wara a vampira ) an goas back homa . FML

#1834550
640 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94592) - you deserved it (8629)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriendho I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around lyk they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old childho was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77646) - you deserved it (8609)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I WAS SERVING A FAMILY AT THE RESTAURANTHERE I WORK. WHEN I WENT TO ASK THE LITTLE GIRLHAT SHE WANTED, I WAS TONGUE-TIED AND GOT "CUTIE" AND "HUN" MIXED UP AND ENDED UP ASKING, "WHAT CAN I GET 4 YOU, CUNTIE?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78843) - you deserved it (24272)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

2DAY AFTER PRACTICING A SONG 4 MY GRLFRIEND ON GUITAR ALL DAY , I CALLD HER OVER TO MY HOUSE TO SHOW IT TO HER. AFTER A LONG SPEECH ABOUT HOW "THIS IS 4 YOU," I PLAYD 4 ABOUT 3 SECOND BEFORE I BROKE A STRING,HICH SLAPPD HER IN HER FACE. FML

#1694711
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63766) - you deserved it (5748)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

TODAY , I WAS DRIVING TO THE GROCERY STORE WITH MAH 7 YEAR-OLD SON . WHEN I WAS APPROACHING A STOP SIGN , I LOOK NEXT TO ME AND SEE A GUY WITH A TRIANGLE SHAPED HEAD . I TELL MAH SON "LOOK AT THE GUY WITH THE TRIANGLE HEAD." MY WINDOW WAS OPEN . SO WAS HIS . FML

#1587848
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7902) - you deserved it (65725)

On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

2day I Woke Up With Really Dry, Chappd Lips. Still In Bd, Without My Glasse On, I Sleepily Reachd Down Into My Purse For Some Chapstick And Applid It. Upon Awakening Later I Realizd I Had Mistaken A Mini Sharpie Permanent Marker For Chapstick. I Have A Job Interview Today. FML

#1100061
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44724) - you deserved it (27492)

On 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by pinkblankets (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service 4 Passover), mah mom servd matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options 4 me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shoutd, "I like really big balls!" in front of mah entire family. FML

#921004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (89873)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at lunch I was running to mah group's table with mah friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on mah belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66688) - you deserved it (11225)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date wit a guy for te first time . We went to Starbucks and got coffee . We talked for aile, and we were joking and aving a good time . Suddenly, e putted is and on my stomac and said, "Soon, tis will be plump wit my seed." FML

#836792
934 comments

I agree, your life sucks (365913) - you deserved it (41137)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today , it was really windy an rainy causing me to trip an knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself , I apologizd an pattd the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn an look at the kid , an discover I've been interacting with a trash can.

#832092
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (47841)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an arhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the grl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84588) - you deserved it (31566)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today... I Came Home And Saw On Our Fridge... "Please Don't Drink Anymore... I Really Worry About Yur Health" Written By Mah 7-year-old Daughter. I Figured She Wouldn't Ever Fine Out... So I Opened The Fridge. But I Found Another Note On A Can That Said "So Your Going To Drink Anyway?" FML

#503348
897 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62513) - you deserved it (646375)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

#488683
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14875) - you deserved it (64311)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by mikej1985 (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: