LiznessMonster

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LiznessMonster

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6109
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LiznessMonster : I don't have anything to go right here, but any questions I can answer!

LiznessMonster's page activity

Visits<b>m374lf0rlyf3</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 7:38pm<b>gar2014</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 10:38pm<b>Pepsiisbae</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 3:35am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 9:41pm<b>guineagirl96</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 1:23am<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:29pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 6:17am<b>goodshadow2163</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:05pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:35am<b>SDamn</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>blueawesomeness</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:58pm<b>HuskiesGrey</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:55am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:51pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:17pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:51pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:17am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:25pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:51am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:17am

LiznessMonster's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of LiznessMonster's badges

LiznessMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

by Hallllo / 05/11/2009 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML

by mylifesucks123 / 05/03/2009 at 9:44am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

by pinkblankets / 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

by anon13 / 04/12/2009 at 12:27am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

by mikej1985 / 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work