LiznessMonster

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LiznessMonster

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5613
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LiznessMonster : I don't have anything to go right here, but any questions I can answer!

LiznessMonster's page activity

Visits<b>guineagirl96</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 1:23am<b>pokemyeyes</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:29pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 6:17am<b>goodshadow2163</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 8:05pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:35am<b>SDamn</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 11:08pm<b>blueawesomeness</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:58pm<b>HuskiesGrey</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:55am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:51pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:17pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:51pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:17am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Botmun12</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 11:48pm<b>feven</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:30pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:33am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:51am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:17am

LiznessMonster's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of LiznessMonster's badges

LiznessMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

by KN / 06/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML

by Kat / 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 7:13am / Switzerland (Bern) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

by paranoid / 06/06/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

by galen / 06/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

by boinger / 06/03/2009 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML

by Tyler_Padgett / 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

by Tootsy_Roll_Pop / 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous