Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LiznessMonster

Search for a member

LiznessMonster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3726
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LiznessMonster : I don't have anything to go right here, but any questions I can answer!

LiznessMonster's page activity

Visits<b>Kasanovastar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:05pm<b>missalyssaxo</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:41pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:11am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:39pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:15am<b>miztigers53</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 8:51pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:11am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:24am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:33am<b>starlight300</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 9:10pm<b>DERPYDERP878</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 8:46pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 12:40pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 4:39am<b>ctuan13</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 10:30am<b>metsandcavs</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 8:03pm<b>donttakemytacos</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 9:34am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 1:29pm<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:12am

LiznessMonster's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of LiznessMonster's badges

LiznessMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10149) - you deserved it (21595)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11765) - you deserved it (28405)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (3702)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
184 comments

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10051) - you deserved it (37578)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26559) - you deserved it (3510)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (6920)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16905) - you deserved it (27470)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15470) - you deserved it (21266)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70109) - you deserved it (12061)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

#6413436
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14967) - you deserved it (5747)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by NotsexyEnough - United States (Ohio)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22228) - you deserved it (4039)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

#6268851
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (5390)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

#6153235
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43720) - you deserved it (7400)

On 11/04/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: