Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LiznessMonster

Search for a member

LiznessMonster

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5173
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LiznessMonster : I don't have anything to go right here, but any questions I can answer!

LiznessMonster's page activity

Visits<b>blueawesomeness</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:38pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:58pm<b>HuskiesGrey</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:55am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:51pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:17pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:51pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:17am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Botmun12</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 11:48pm<b>feven</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:30pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 2:33am<b>no_playa_hater</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:38am<b>Kasanovastar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:05pm<b>missalyssaxo</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 9:41pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:11am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:39pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:15am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:51am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:17am

LiznessMonster's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of LiznessMonster's badges

LiznessMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53533) - you deserved it (10468)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (62838)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60576) - you deserved it (12817)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (3278)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

#13534312
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9738) - you deserved it (35858)

On 10/21/2010 at 4:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

#13503645
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (3858)

On 10/18/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by the_music_major (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41056) - you deserved it (8393)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31380) - you deserved it (4862)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72224) - you deserved it (8112)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43162) - you deserved it (3646)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18606) - you deserved it (27201)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

#12077733
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10864) - you deserved it (34816)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

#8751170
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7289) - you deserved it (19717)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - work - by militiousroflcopter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33322) - you deserved it (2525)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12460) - you deserved it (34130)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: