About Lisa89 : Noble Lisa89 the 1st.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42881) - you deserved it (6018)
Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (5415)
On 12/27/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by kanenakid - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61708) - you deserved it (9231)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9171) - you deserved it (29029)
On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8496) - you deserved it (21413)
On 10/19/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a job at McDonald's because I've been really needing money. After work, I got some food with the Monopoly pieces. I completed the set for $5,000, but I can't claim it because I work for McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (2755)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:41am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (20376)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64990) - you deserved it (5676)
On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24547) - you deserved it (106518)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49703) - you deserved it (17143)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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