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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Lisa89

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Lisa89
  • Town/Country : United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 September 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1698
  • Number of comments : 989
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Lisa89 : Noble Lisa89 the 1st.

Lisa89's last visitors

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Lisa89's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Lisa89's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (39590) - you deserved it (5647)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

#6970939 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (4470)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by kanenakid - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57264) - you deserved it (8515)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (8242) - you deserved it (23093)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

#5896023 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (7967) - you deserved it (20170)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a job at McDonald's because I've been really needing money. After work, I got some food with the Monopoly pieces. I completed the set for $5,000, but I can't claim it because I work for McDonald's. FML

#5811101 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (2579)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:41am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

#4157667 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (32685) - you deserved it (19326)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:21am - intimacy - by verysadasian (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

#3215431 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (59319) - you deserved it (4307)

On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (97748)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (47575) - you deserved it (16514)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)