Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lioness8197

Search for a member

Lioness8197
  • Town/Country : Florida
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2944
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Lioness8197 : I love reading and writing.

I love to longboard.

I want a Great Dane and German Shepherd.

I love baseball and football.

Lions are my favorite animal.

I'm a Leo.

I want to become a baker and one day own a bakery that I can call mine.

I'm a very respectful person. Don't assume because I'm a teenager I'm rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate.

Lioness8197's last visitors

HairyPunisherjennnfdsjkKkmarsmc_squaredrrchocogrlWEREuMADbro

Lioness8197's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lioness8197's badges

Lioness8197's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

#20975413
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41301) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/30/2013 at 12:58am - intimacy - by Thanksalot (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37831) - you deserved it (3453)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

#20974977
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45032) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by katerina (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (35001)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41892) - you deserved it (4351)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34822) - you deserved it (8492)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40224) - you deserved it (4980)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60833) - you deserved it (4212)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57940) - you deserved it (4168)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42860) - you deserved it (6388)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41611) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44109) - you deserved it (3530)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54826) - you deserved it (2251)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: