About Lioness8197 : I love to longboard.
I want a Great Dane and German Shepherd.
I love baseball and football.
Lions are my favorite animal.
I'm a Leo.
I want to become a baker and one day own a bakery that I can call mine.
I'm a very respectful person. Don't assume because I'm a teenager I'm rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate.
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Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (1665)
On 08/02/2012 at 10:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (2381)
On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13531) - you deserved it (5155)
On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15138) - you deserved it (4175)
On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (1362)
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15632) - you deserved it (2096)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)
Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (1730)
On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18765) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18000) - you deserved it (3342)
On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (2307) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7626) - you deserved it (28340)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19138) - you deserved it (1506)
On 05/19/2012 at 12:17am - love - by Asdf649 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7665) - you deserved it (17539)
On 04/01/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Zack - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (10801)
On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (10801)
On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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