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Lioness8197

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Lioness8197
  • Town/Country : Florida
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2883
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Lioness8197 : I love reading and writing.

I love to longboard.

I want a Great Dane and German Shepherd.

I love baseball and football.

Lions are my favorite animal.

I'm a Leo.

I want to become a baker and one day own a bakery that I can call mine.

I'm a very respectful person. Don't assume because I'm a teenager I'm rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate.

Lioness8197's last visitors

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Lioness8197's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lioness8197's badges

Lioness8197's favorite FMLs

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

#20789918
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38095) - you deserved it (13383)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

#20786569
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47832) - you deserved it (3980)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

#20786212
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52748) - you deserved it (7490)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm - love - by ronnieG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40803) - you deserved it (3546)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

#20784225
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43048) - you deserved it (3665)

On 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm - misc - by helpme - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40278) - you deserved it (13007)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my kids. It was fun, and led to some mock fights. My neighbor, who despises me for being a single mother, used it as an excuse to call the cops on me for "abusing" my kids. They were too confused to do anything but nod at the officer's accusing questions. FML

#20779851
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47653) - you deserved it (2990)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44767) - you deserved it (16476)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92434) - you deserved it (10330)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54723) - you deserved it (3102)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47423) - you deserved it (6658)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44138) - you deserved it (3091)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, my aunt had the wonderful experience of hearing my boyfriend and I have a very "satisfying" encounter after we stupidly forgot to turn off the baby monitor. FML

#20772295
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25782) - you deserved it (40351)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by embarrassed niece (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27246) - you deserved it (61215)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)



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