Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Lioness8197

Search for a member

Lioness8197

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4298
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Lioness8197 : I love reading and writing.

I love to longboard.

I want a Great Dane and German Shepherd.

I love baseball and football.

Lions are my favorite animal.

I'm a Leo.

I want to become a baker and one day own a bakery that I can call mine.

I'm a very respectful person. Don't assume because I'm a teenager I'm rude, disrespectful and inconsiderate.

Lioness8197's page activity

Visits<b>__Tron_Cat__</b> - yesterday at 9:38pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:12am<b>d_white43</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:31am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:19pm<b>Purrrvana</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:02pm<b>toog77</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:05am<b>RosePetalHarris</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:44am<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:25am<b>janeencynthia</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 2:33am<b>pocky90</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:17am<b>xiax</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:16pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:36am<b>fmlmica</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 3:01am<b>Paintonmyarms214</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 2:59am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:23am<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:19am<b>weeping_angel_</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:17am<b>WiltedRoses</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:28am

Lioness8197's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Lioness8197's badges

Lioness8197's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50287) - you deserved it (6787)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I spent five hours in the ER with my 75-year-old grandma. Why? Because she attacked an old lady and punched a nurse in the face, kicked him in the balls, and jumped on his back and choked him. She had five guards holding her down and is now convinced they are trying to kill her. FML

#20846626
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41395) - you deserved it (2421)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by Oh Grandma... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44971) - you deserved it (13869)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

#20843729
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43992) - you deserved it (3782)

On 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm - misc - by Having a pretty sister sucks. - United States (Texas)

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57230) - you deserved it (6667)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46814) - you deserved it (19342)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

#20840638
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35933) - you deserved it (5498)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm - misc - by that's methed up, darling (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50660) - you deserved it (5588)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54106) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46189) - you deserved it (6197)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

#20821459
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36045) - you deserved it (16300)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:28am - animals - by fetch boy.. - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: