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Lillie_bird

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Lillie_bird

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 382
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Lillie_bird's page activity

Visits<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:52am<b>skychu</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:02pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 2:06am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 9:28am<b>greg14</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 9:39pm<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:26am<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 1:58pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 4:08am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 12:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 11:40am<b>LukeE45</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 5:29pm<b>hotshot0185</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 8:52am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 8:53pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 12:32am<b>djayy9011</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:41am

Lillie_bird's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lillie_bird's badges

Lillie_bird's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

#21221361
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (4153)

On 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (18921)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48209) - you deserved it (6630)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49181) - you deserved it (5479)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42415) - you deserved it (4381)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50297) - you deserved it (10869)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45111) - you deserved it (4731)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37789) - you deserved it (5506)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML

#21066990
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34346) - you deserved it (5262)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46245) - you deserved it (6544)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in the prison I work at, I came down with severe digestion issues. Master control probably laughed as they watched me wait at the security gates in a cold sweat, squeezing my ass-cheeks together like an inmate smuggling contraband. FML

#21047394
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38488) - you deserved it (3926)

On 02/01/2014 at 5:42pm - work - by TwistedCherub1 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42556) - you deserved it (10945)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40060) - you deserved it (4079)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States



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