Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LilTiki559

Search for a member

LilTiki559

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1213
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LilTiki559's page activity

Visits<b>hk1998</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:59am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:43am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Morgan123883</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Life_is_FML</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:03am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:41am<b>misslysiak</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:24am<b>izzie321</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:35am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:01pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:04am<b>aaron1503</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:52am<b>AssassinD3</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:40pm<b>xxembabexx</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:26pm<b>aubrey_rayne</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:36pm<b>uhmmpaola</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:04am<b>computer11</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:45am

LilTiki559's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of LilTiki559's badges

LilTiki559's favorite FMLs

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

#21145745
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43738) - you deserved it (4302)

On 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by SmittyJA24 - United States (Idaho)

Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML

#21084209
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (6533)

On 03/11/2014 at 6:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

#21042109
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (10137)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45710) - you deserved it (5372)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55955) - you deserved it (5626)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42246) - you deserved it (20942)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51566) - you deserved it (6004)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39827) - you deserved it (3343)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46705) - you deserved it (4737)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25553) - you deserved it (52621)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43929) - you deserved it (5278)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48544) - you deserved it (6427)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (3851)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50260) - you deserved it (7995)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (19113)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: