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Lifestride305

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Lifestride305
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1761
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lifestride305 : For some reason my account won't let me comment...but I can still read! I guess that means I just silently judge you all.

I like write FML's though. Because typing it out always makes me smile (kinda like we'll all laugh about this later thing)

So I share them with you. Enjoy

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Lifestride305's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (3509)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (3242)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45645) - you deserved it (3709)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (6666)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (12542)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (30137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (34698)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43157) - you deserved it (2338)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36368) - you deserved it (2423)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (38341)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after a long couple of months working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, and when I didn't show up for work, I had been fired. FML

#20859399
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40772) - you deserved it (3125)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50225) - you deserved it (2818)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (2239)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)



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