Lifestride305

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Lifestride305

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9769
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lifestride305 : For some reason my account won't let me comment...but I can still read! I guess that means I just silently judge you all.

I like write FML's though. Because typing it out always makes me smile (kinda like we'll all laugh about this later thing)

So I share them with you. Enjoy

Lifestride305's page activity

Visits<b>S232Flash</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:48pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:39pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 2:07pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 5:45am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:39am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:34pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:41am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 9:41am<b>drabramow</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 10:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:12pm<b>MrBond007</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 7:42am<b>buddy51</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 9:41pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:39pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 5:15pm

Lifestride305's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lifestride305's badges

Lifestride305's favorite FMLs

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

by OnCompanyTimeToo / 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

by ClaireWinchester / 09/01/2013 at 8:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 6:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no / 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

by aisbash / 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:40am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

by Rapunzel1974 / 09/01/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Mississippi) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

by embarrassedmom / 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

by faulty plumbimg! / 08/31/2013 at 8:14am / India / Health

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

by nevercatchabreak / 08/31/2013 at 4:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids