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Lifestride305

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Lifestride305
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1815
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lifestride305 : For some reason my account won't let me comment...but I can still read! I guess that means I just silently judge you all.

I like write FML's though. Because typing it out always makes me smile (kinda like we'll all laugh about this later thing)

So I share them with you. Enjoy

Lifestride305's last visitors

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Lifestride305's favorite FMLs

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34977) - you deserved it (2851)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43541) - you deserved it (18652)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

#20864621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40961) - you deserved it (4657)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46030) - you deserved it (5165)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38734) - you deserved it (7723)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I resigned from my job in favor of a higher-paying one. After I filled out and filed the necessary papers, my boss told me that I had been nominated to replace him when he retired in a month. His job pays at least twice what I'm now making. Thanks for telling me, asshat. FML

#20863852
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37489) - you deserved it (12702)

On 09/01/2013 at 11:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

#20863679
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (8033)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm - work - by OnCompanyTimeToo (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I found out that Cheetos are flammable, as is my hair. FML

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43193) - you deserved it (2239)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom mentioned how she loves certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML

#20863518
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (17569)

On 09/01/2013 at 6:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

#20863339
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34971) - you deserved it (2716)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

#20863302
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37140) - you deserved it (3089)

On 09/01/2013 at 3:35pm - work - by aisbash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

#20863117
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46361) - you deserved it (5867)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42126) - you deserved it (2910)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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