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Lifestride305

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Lifestride305

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2732
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lifestride305 : For some reason my account won't let me comment...but I can still read! I guess that means I just silently judge you all.

I like write FML's though. Because typing it out always makes me smile (kinda like we'll all laugh about this later thing)

So I share them with you. Enjoy

Lifestride305's page activity

Visits<b>S232Flash</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:48pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:39pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 2:07pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 5:45am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:39am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:34pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:41am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 9:41am<b>drabramow</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 10:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:12pm<b>MrBond007</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 7:42am<b>buddy51</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 9:41pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:39pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 5:15pm

Lifestride305's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lifestride305's badges

Lifestride305's favorite FMLs

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44762) - you deserved it (4385)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

#20872459
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41290) - you deserved it (6054)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

#20871412
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50784) - you deserved it (3401)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by /(•'_'•)\ (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

#20871260
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48435) - you deserved it (4067)

On 09/07/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by ...thanks (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my kids only remember my birthday because it's the password on the iPad. FML

#20871062
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41185) - you deserved it (5136)

On 09/07/2013 at 4:22am - kids - by Sean - United States (California)

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

#20870447
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48397) - you deserved it (3753)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm - health - by what's a rimjob between friends? (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

#20870098
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35906) - you deserved it (4278) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/06/2013 at 7:56am - kids - by Anonyme - France (Basse-Normandie)

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41783) - you deserved it (2211)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (2765)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a soon-to-be-ex co-worker flew into a rage when she saw she wasn't on the schedule for next week. The boss told her it's because she quit. She reminded the boss she wants to keep working part-time. My new job is inventing tasks for her to do to keep her calm. FML

#20869282
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33413) - you deserved it (2052)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by Zuzubat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

#20869277
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35692) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML

#20869057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36446) - you deserved it (6760)

On 09/05/2013 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34588) - you deserved it (4932)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44825) - you deserved it (4239)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

#20868590
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46193) - you deserved it (2415)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:02am - animals - by GotMyBitchBack - United States (Ohio)



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