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Lifestride305

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Lifestride305

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3675
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lifestride305 : For some reason my account won't let me comment...but I can still read! I guess that means I just silently judge you all.

I like write FML's though. Because typing it out always makes me smile (kinda like we'll all laugh about this later thing)

So I share them with you. Enjoy

Lifestride305's page activity

Visits<b>S232Flash</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:48pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:39pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 2:07pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 5:45am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:39am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:34pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:41am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 9:41am<b>drabramow</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 10:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:12pm<b>MrBond007</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 7:42am<b>buddy51</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 9:41pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:39pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 5:15pm

Lifestride305's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lifestride305's badges

Lifestride305's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

#20875421
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33374) - you deserved it (2240)

On 09/10/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41129) - you deserved it (11035)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31735) - you deserved it (17426)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

#20874616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (4052)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm - animals - by Are you kidding me? - United States (Kansas)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53511) - you deserved it (6210)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43836) - you deserved it (5328)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55767) - you deserved it (23225)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

#20874228
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44152) - you deserved it (4784)

On 09/09/2013 at 8:46am - love - by Renagirl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71800) - you deserved it (4060)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49189) - you deserved it (5352)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

#20873371
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45623) - you deserved it (3940)

On 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (98884)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49500) - you deserved it (3169)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40897) - you deserved it (3138)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States



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