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Lifestride305

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Lifestride305

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4304
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lifestride305 : For some reason my account won't let me comment...but I can still read! I guess that means I just silently judge you all.

I like write FML's though. Because typing it out always makes me smile (kinda like we'll all laugh about this later thing)

So I share them with you. Enjoy

Lifestride305's page activity

Visits<b>S232Flash</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:48pm<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:39pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 2:07pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 5:45am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 4:39am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 2:34pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:41am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 9:41am<b>drabramow</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 10:32pm<b>lmfaowhatever</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 7:12pm<b>MrBond007</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 7:42am<b>buddy51</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 9:41pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:39pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 5:15pm

Lifestride305's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Lifestride305's badges

Lifestride305's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49042) - you deserved it (4951)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49799) - you deserved it (8438)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

#20816873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48125) - you deserved it (3069)

On 08/02/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

#20816836
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51681) - you deserved it (5657)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:53am - love - by tkghan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51064) - you deserved it (10867)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

#20815680
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42188) - you deserved it (8571)

On 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

#20815357
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43451) - you deserved it (4024)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by hangman (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54584) - you deserved it (5247)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

#20811460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (12857)

On 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by kiwichick4life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called to confirm the appointment that I made over six months ago at the tattoo studio. Turns out my particular artist "doesn't work Tuesdays" and that they also miraculously have no record of my appointment, nor the cash deposit I had to put down. FML

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

#20811045
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41868) - you deserved it (3361)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56999) - you deserved it (8898)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62456) - you deserved it (5423)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61396) - you deserved it (9122)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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