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LifelessStars

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LifelessStars
  • Town/Country : Where ever you want me ;D jk, UnitedStates
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2029
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Hey its meeee!!! ^_^ on on here for mostly laughs. Usually on here on my phone but occasionally online soo yea and btw when I say guess what
you gotta guess
yes I'm that kind of person XD

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LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12024) - you deserved it (22137)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22980) - you deserved it (14719)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (7857)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21629) - you deserved it (6844)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (8171)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23203) - you deserved it (2040)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19170) - you deserved it (6385)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

#19660572
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (4475)

On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (1266)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

#19643337
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9873) - you deserved it (27312)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

#19632060
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19990) - you deserved it (4577)

On 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38430) - you deserved it (3081)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

#19629941
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17643) - you deserved it (3416)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)



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