Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LifelessStars

Offline (the 08/16/2014 at 12:55am) | Search for a member

LifelessStars

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2789
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Just another teenage girl with no life

LifelessStars's page activity

Visits<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:43pm<b>bugeja1na</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:08am<b>neeni88</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 12:45am<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:02pm<b>mexeuphemism</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 4:47pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:08am<b>tylerandrew</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 5:51pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 8:57pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:34pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 1:20am<b>Danielle7994</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 2:57pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 8:58pm<b>jr2222</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 3:40pm<b>BooBug8</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 4:03pm<b>Rob2kfore</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 2:27am<b>alanm707</b> - the 02/19/2013 at 3:01am<b>Disobey</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 7:51pm<b>joncole</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 6:00pm

LifelessStars's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of LifelessStars's badges

LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (6637)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (3999)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12728) - you deserved it (23048)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25946) - you deserved it (15480)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (8174)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (7052)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33364) - you deserved it (9043)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25073) - you deserved it (2212)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

#19670939
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (6767)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

#19660572
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29174) - you deserved it (6220)

On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (3000)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24729) - you deserved it (1900)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

#19643337
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11384) - you deserved it (30669)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

#19632060
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (5027)

On 05/16/2012 at 1:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47119) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: