Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LifelessStars

Offline (the 08/16/2014 at 12:55am) | Search for a member

LifelessStars

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5499
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Just another teenage girl with no life

LifelessStars's page activity

Visits<b>Raptor73242</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:29pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:04pm<b>conman317</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:02am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:05pm<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:11pm<b>gigistar15</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 6:55pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:46pm<b>Stryker_13</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:50am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:43pm<b>bugeja1na</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:08am<b>neeni88</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 12:45am<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:02pm<b>mexeuphemism</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 4:47pm<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 5:08am<b>tylerandrew</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 5:51pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 8:57pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 12:34pm

Fucked!<b>FitFriday</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Stryker_13</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:50am

LifelessStars's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of LifelessStars's badges

LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (2384)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (4905)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

#19935872
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16393) - you deserved it (31362)

On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (2878)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (4383)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

#19893089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (2224)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22231) - you deserved it (3216)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15723) - you deserved it (27842)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (4530)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (4352)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
275 comments

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31366) - you deserved it (8766)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45933) - you deserved it (4217)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (7005)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: