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LifelessStars

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LifelessStars
  • Town/Country : Where ever you want me ;D jk, UnitedStates
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2036
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Hey its meeee!!! ^_^ on on here for mostly laughs. Usually on here on my phone but occasionally online soo yea and btw when I say guess what
you gotta guess
yes I'm that kind of person XD

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LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (1552)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (7806)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (3391)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were under the covers, and my little brother thought we were wrestling, so he got on top of the covers and started "wrestling" with us. FML

#19935872
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12829) - you deserved it (25982)

On 07/14/2012 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Leyla - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (2535)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30690) - you deserved it (3891)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to pretend my tampons were "dynamite" and run around the house throwing them at my friends and family. FML

#19893089
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (1879)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:01am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19006) - you deserved it (2857)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11069) - you deserved it (18904)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (4115)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (3718)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
271 comments

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27850) - you deserved it (8182)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40434) - you deserved it (3685)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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