Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LifelessStars

Offline (yesterday at 2:11pm) | Search for a member

LifelessStars

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5663
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Favorite color- Orange

Likes - Books📚 and sweets🍰


That's all there is to know

LifelessStars's page activity

Visits<b>patwo8</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 7:22am<b>Frillwee95</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:25am<b>Totalninja301</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:32pm<b>superspy3214</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:36pm<b>StairwayToKevin</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:50am<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:20am<b>itsSkyyyyyy</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 12:12am<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 1:20am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:43pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 8:50pm<b>AdamPractical</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:48pm<b>asslover061981</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:07pm<b>MrKilgore</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:42pm<b>w709</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:49pm<b>Nedaj</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:42pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Da3rdmaquan</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:14pm

Fucked!<b>superspy3214</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 9:49pm<b>HAMY</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:28pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:35am<b>GEMoon</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:06am<b>MrKilgore</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:02am<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:20am<b>ChrisIsAnon</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:36am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:27am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Stryker_13</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:50am

LifelessStars's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of LifelessStars's badges

LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46553) - you deserved it (7952)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML

#20567871
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (4862)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84360) - you deserved it (8728)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71992) - you deserved it (10979)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40271) - you deserved it (6850)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39936) - you deserved it (20234)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40992) - you deserved it (5948)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52285) - you deserved it (6709)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

#20542189
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47468) - you deserved it (7706)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56170) - you deserved it (14709)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (6890)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38685) - you deserved it (11246)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store because I would not show him my "boobies". A man came up to us and said I should do what my nephew wanted. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38974) - you deserved it (9311)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: