Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6053
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Favorite color- Orange

Likes - Books📚 and sweets🍰

That's all there is to know

LifelessStars's page activity

Visits<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - yesterday at 4:31am<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:49am<b>FallenBaphomet</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:08pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 1:38pm<b>Dartual</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 5:12pm<b>AdamPractical</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 9:46am<b>C7</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 10:44pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 5:31am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 2:41am<b>zerooooh</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 2:41am<b>Iins3rtnam3hereI</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 11:39pm<b>superfreak6</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Verst</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 4:18pm<b>bushada</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 2:24pm<b>TheGamingNirvana</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:51pm<b>littlejimmy</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:03pm<b>UrWaifuIsShit</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:45am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:26am

Fucked!<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 11:31am<b>TheGamingNirvana</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:51pm<b>superspy3214</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 9:49pm<b>HAMY</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:28pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:35am<b>GEMoon</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:06am<b>MrKilgore</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:02am<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:20am<b>ChrisIsAnon</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:36am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:27am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Stryker_13</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:50am

LifelessStars's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of LifelessStars's badges

LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34914) - you deserved it (11848)

On 01/25/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by totallyscrewedomg - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36627) - you deserved it (7435)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing my dad said to him was "So, how low have you kissed?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (33547) - you deserved it (3705)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML


I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (7265)

On 01/09/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML


I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (5525)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (11465)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (63006)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38183) - you deserved it (17438)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (39127) - you deserved it (22171)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48888) - you deserved it (8653)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (31588)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got grounded because I have a picture on facebook in which I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55892) - you deserved it (4390)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML


I agree, your life sucks (42876) - you deserved it (15623)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML


I agree, your life sucks (49347) - you deserved it (6133)

On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: