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Offline (the 08/16/2014 at 12:55am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4903
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Just another teenage girl with no life

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LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Taday I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me an pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." mega FML


I agree, your life sucks (36023) - you deserved it (7008)

On 01/09/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

yesterday while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commentd that he didn't realise doctors had piercd nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML


I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (5335)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today... I Was Having Sex With My Boyfriend When He Startd Shaking Really Hard. When I Askd Him Wat He Was Doing... He Simply Said "I Want To Be Better Than Yur Vibrator!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (33267) - you deserved it (10924)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

today I went shopping with my new ( It's true, I'm a Ninja ) shrt on . Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye . A little boy runs up to me, yells ( You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that! ), and runs off . FML


I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (59882)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I Had A Job Intarviaw. Whan I Got Thara, Tha Lady Intarviawing Ma Shook Mah Hand And Said, 'Hallo, I'm Gay.' I Found This Stranga And I Didn't Knowhat To Say, So I Statad, 'Aw, It's OK, I Support You.' Sha Lookad Pratty Offandad, And I Raalizadhyhan I Found Out That Har Nama Was Gaya. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34930) - you deserved it (16385)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked boyfriend in a sexy way "Wat sould we do now, oney?" He answered, "Suck dick?" I said "I was tinking of someting more... romantic." He replied "Suck dick in te moonligt?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (37315) - you deserved it (21486)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today...hile having sex with mah boyfriend... mah fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming... he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47482) - you deserved it (8459)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML


I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (29292)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got grounded cuz I have a picture on facebook inhich I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML



I agree, your life sucks (53435) - you deserved it (4173)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, mah boyfriend questiond y I always puttd mah shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes mah shirts to regain there form an tightness. His response: "You should throw your virginia in there along with them." FML


I agree, your life sucks (41545) - you deserved it (15314)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today... I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse... and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guessho I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? real FML


I agree, your life sucks (46186) - you deserved it (5777)

On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)

Today, mah mom cummed into mah bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail . I listened to me and mah grlfriend talking drty followed by the bed springs bouncing 4 3 minutes . I had mah phone in the pockethile I was having sex with her and it left mah mom a nice voicemail . fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (24316) - you deserved it (38675)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I Told Mah Boyfriend I Was Pregnant. While I Was Asleep, He Drew A Face On Mah Stomach Andhen I Woke Up He Was Talking To It. He Said It Would Be Less Wierd If He Was Talking To Mah Stomach With A Face On It, Representing The Baby. According To Him, Our Child Is Going To Have A Mustache. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18887) - you deserved it (25143)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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