Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LifelessStars

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

LifelessStars

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5645
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Favorite color- Orange

Likes - Books📚 and sweets🍰


That's all there is to know

LifelessStars's page activity

Visits<b>superspy3214</b> - one hour ago<b>StairwayToKevin</b> - 4 hours ago<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - 10 hours ago<b>itsSkyyyyyy</b> - 16 hours ago<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - yesterday at 1:20am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - yesterday at 11:43pm<b>Frillwee95</b> - yesterday at 11:11pm<b>beeferjay</b> - yesterday at 8:50pm<b>AdamPractical</b> - yesterday at 7:48pm<b>asslover061981</b> - yesterday at 7:07pm<b>MrKilgore</b> - yesterday at 5:42pm<b>w709</b> - yesterday at 3:55pm<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - yesterday at 3:49pm<b>Nedaj</b> - yesterday at 3:42pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Da3rdmaquan</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:14pm<b>vampire623</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:58pm<b>swash984</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:59pm

Fucked!<b>superspy3214</b> - just now<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - yesterday at 9:49pm<b>HAMY</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:28pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:35am<b>GEMoon</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:06am<b>MrKilgore</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:02am<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:20am<b>ChrisIsAnon</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:36am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:27am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Stryker_13</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:50am

LifelessStars's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of LifelessStars's badges

LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (4112)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8377) - you deserved it (26709)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
604 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (55363)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (2389)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15750) - you deserved it (52893)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (9702)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31889) - you deserved it (7844)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30774) - you deserved it (4102)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (29710)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10413) - you deserved it (35110)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (5120)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31627) - you deserved it (4256)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML

#19103032
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (7726)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm - love - by Mel Ancholy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML

#19098700
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33187) - you deserved it (4249)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:44am - love - by Cheap N Happy (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: