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LifelessStars

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LifelessStars
  • Town/Country : Where ever you want me ;D jk, UnitedStates
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1994
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Hey its meeee!!! ^_^ on on here for mostly laughs. Usually on here on my phone but occasionally online soo yea and btw when I say guess what
you gotta guess
yes I'm that kind of person XD

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LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

#19269452
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31302) - you deserved it (1450)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by Rynne S. - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (5252)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32881) - you deserved it (5252)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (3029)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (23179)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (50340)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (1620)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13662) - you deserved it (48303)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26146) - you deserved it (5967)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27850) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16464) - you deserved it (28438)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8722) - you deserved it (30705)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29452) - you deserved it (4641)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24006) - you deserved it (2424)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)



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