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LifelessStars

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LifelessStars
  • Town/Country : Where ever you want me ;D jk, UnitedStates
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1996
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LifelessStars : Hey its meeee!!! ^_^ on on here for mostly laughs. Usually on here on my phone but occasionally online soo yea and btw when I say guess what
you gotta guess
yes I'm that kind of person XD

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LifelessStars's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27486) - you deserved it (3264)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32581) - you deserved it (2058) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31406) - you deserved it (8087)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (10141)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33682) - you deserved it (2758)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16185) - you deserved it (2857)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9554) - you deserved it (59509)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

#19301849
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9375) - you deserved it (50321)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm - misc - by waitwhat (man) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

#19299263
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7594) - you deserved it (39819)

On 03/18/2012 at 7:41am - love - by Austin Franklin - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (1790)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (5591)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

#19277494
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (4296)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm - health - by braceface - United States

Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML

#19272838
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19991) - you deserved it (7067)

On 03/13/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (7013)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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