Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Liamj774

Online | Search for a member

Liamj774

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1960
  • Number of comments : 290
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Liamj774 : If you're here, it's probably because I have made an idiotic comment, which is almost all of them. Anyway, if on the off chance you're here because of a witty or funny comment, which is unlikely, whale cum. Now that I have succeeded at chasing everyone off my profile, I'll say this. Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long for fat people.

Liamj774's page activity

Visits<b>TdotMaria</b> - 3 hours ago<b>enriquegonzolas</b> - 23 hours ago<b>yesimoverthirty</b> - yesterday at 9:34pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:51pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:32pm<b>xxPurplexx</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:39am<b>SauceySarah</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:50am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:30am<b>messedup4ever</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:45pm<b>mahovalia</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:14pm<b>rydeski</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 3:59pm<b>chris028272571</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:05am<b>romcombo</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:17pm<b>Chente_313</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:45am<b>carlgeek</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:07pm<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:26pm<b>rtapia247</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:06pm<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:52pm

Liked!<b>rshore91</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:36pm

Liamj774's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Liamj774's badges

Liamj774's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (1685)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26873) - you deserved it (2208)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (6873)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML

#20106106
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23152) - you deserved it (1716)

On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21342) - you deserved it (1478)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24011) - you deserved it (2789)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

#20057573
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18886) - you deserved it (3576)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18001) - you deserved it (23319)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML

#20045096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (1337)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by Mandi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

#20018594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25422) - you deserved it (1732)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:20am - love - by millie219 (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10709) - you deserved it (36808)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26065) - you deserved it (15693)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: