About Liamj774 : If you're here, it's probably because I've made an idiotic comment, which is almost all of them. Anyway, if on the off chance you're here because of a witty or funny comment, which is unlikely, whale cum. Now that I have succeeded at chasing everyone off my profile, I'll say this. Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long for fat people.
Liamj774's FML badges
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Liamj774's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
by potheadloljk / 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids
by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by JeffeeBojangles / 02/28/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 7:09pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Miscellaneous
by dusk / 01/05/2012 at 3:09am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
by yeah_im_mad_bro / 09/23/2011 at 8:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Brian B / 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm / United States / Work
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals
- Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call… Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he… Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a…