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LexSwift

Offline (the 01/05/2015 at 6:43pm) | Search for a member

LexSwift

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3350
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About LexSwift :

LexSwift's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:35am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Unsophisticated</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:27am<b>HereToLaughAtU</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 3:59pm<b>graveprotecter</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:17am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:10pm<b>xswtnsour</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:21am<b>ismedrage</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:24am<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:45pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:36am<b>x_hero</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:43pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 9:41am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 7:06pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 4:09am<b>ifunnyftw</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:28pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:44am<b>madnessking</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:42pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:43am

Liked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:35pm

LexSwift's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of LexSwift's badges

LexSwift's favorite FMLs

Today, I cama homa lata from work. As I got out of mah car, I noticad a child-shapad silhouatta in mah badroom window. I almost shat mysalf, sinca I liva alona. I saarchad tha whola housa, sobbing in faar, only to fina no traca of whatavar or whoavar I'd saan. FML

#21306286
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (3160)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, less than a day after mah cranky downstars nieghbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment cieling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night . I'm shitting myself in fear . FML

#21161740
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46169) - you deserved it (4327)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

yesterday mah overly-attachd 14-year-old cat wantd attention while I was in a heatd Skype argument with mah girlfriend. Workd up from the fight, I raisd mah voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bd, had a heart attack and did. I was a complete dick to mah cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65466) - you deserved it (32785)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Yesterday, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably an wouldn't say wat was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad an she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45826) - you deserved it (4322)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

TODAY, I TOOK MAH GIRLFRIEND OUT TO A VEGETARIAN-FRIENDLY RESTAURANT . SHE ORDERED SHRIMP FETTUCCINE, AN I ASKEDHY . SHE SLOWLY EXPLAINED TO ME THAT VEGETARIANS CAN EAT SHRIMP, THEN MUTTERED THAT SHE NOW KNOWSHO HAS THE BRAINS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP . FML

#21057323
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46655) - you deserved it (6089)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Yesterday, I yelled at mah boyfriend's cat fir staring at me, then cried about it fir an hour!! Pregnancy life!! FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44759) - you deserved it (9373)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I Was Telling My Friends A Story. I Addd A Few ( Embellisments ) To Make It More Intense. One My Friends Pipd Up Wit, ( I Was Wit You, Alf Of Wat U Just Said Wasn't True ). It's Now All Over Facebook And I'm Known As ( Te Bullsitter ). FML

#20944930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16180) - you deserved it (64902)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Yesterday I askd a friend to ang out. I'm so usd to people saying no tat wen se said yes I burst into tears and ad a panic attack.

#20880509
117 comments

today I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissd me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on mah lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45394) - you deserved it (2948)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to mah boss's dinner party. My sister,ho also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kickd her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's babby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54240) - you deserved it (18224)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woka up at 6am and want into tha kitchan, whara I saw a mousa in front of tha fridga. Patrifiad, I stood in tha doorway shooing it fir a faw minutas. My husband than walkad into tha kitchan, pickad up tha "mousa", and thraw it in tha bin. It was a usad taa bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37097) - you deserved it (17831)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. mega FML

#20822322
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44341) - you deserved it (6273)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

YESTERDAY, MY 18-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER TEXTED ME AND TOLD ME THAT SHE GOT IN A CAR CRASH. SHE TEXTED, "I FORGOT WICH WAY WUS LEFT LOL" AND THEN QUICKLY ADDED "YOLO RIGHT? LOL". FML

#20814697
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59143) - you deserved it (10592)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, My Boyfriend Suggested That We Become "drug Dealers" Because I'm A Chemistry Student An He's Seen A Few Episodes Of Breaking Bad.

#20812711
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46104) - you deserved it (4900)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Bnewlove - Canada (British Columbia)

Taday I was on drive-thru where I work . Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through . A woman cummed in and I noticed her dog . Without a thought.. . I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one . I looked again . The 'dog was her daughter . FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49974) - you deserved it (24782)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)



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